Why Does This Always Happen To Me?

by | Oct 29, 2021 | Blog

The other day one of one of my clients threw her hands up in the air and asked. “Why does this always happen to me?” She was frustrated and really upset. It was interesting because when we dug down a bit deeper it appeared that she was having a very similar challenge with not one but three different suppliers.

I was familiar with all three of the suppliers and to be honest, in my opinion I thought they were great and I knew a number of other people that had used their services and were extremely happy.

It was clearly something that my client was doing that was creating this situation, which was causing her to feel frustrated and upset. In other words, there was a difference between her having an issue and her being the issue.
If you have ever asked yourself the same question and you want to stop the same things happening to you again and again, then here are the three steps you can take:

Step 1: Become aware
You need to become aware of what the actual problem is. In the case with my client, the suppliers were not providing her with the level of service she expected, however this was the symptom not the problem. The actual problem was that there was a breakdown of communication.

Step 2: Take ownership
It is easy to make excuses and blame other people. The reality is, if you do this and play the role of victim then nothing is going to change. Think about the role you have played, the actions you have or have not taken and how these contributed to the current situation.

Once you know this, decide what actions you are going to take. In the case with my client, she had not clearly stated what her expectations were, and had not provided meaningful feedback when her expectations hadn’t been met.

Step 3: Hold yourself accountable
Being willing to be held accountable. Once you have decided what you are going to do, take action. Think about who can help you and who is willing to hold you to a higher standard.

By going through these three steps with my client, she was able to see that she had contributed to the situation and by identifying the problem, taking ownership and being willing to be held accountable, she is well on her way to never having to play the role of a victim and ask the question, “Why does this always happen to me?” again.

It has been said that life is a tough teacher, she gives you the test first and the lesson afterwards. The thing is, she will keep on giving you the test until you learn the lesson! So set some time aside today and think about what are some of the same things that keep on happening to you. Both good and bad. Think about what you do to create these things and decide what is it that you need to stop doing, start doing and doing more of!

I would love to hear from you on how this information has helped you or if you have other tactics or strategies that help you achieve the results you desire.

Sam Harrop
Business Maximiser Coaching

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